Look At Me Before I Am Gone
by DoNt.do-tHis.2-ME
Summary: Roxas is abused to the point of suicide. Can Axel save him in time or will Roxas' demons and assailant win this time? Warnings Rape, Incest, Multiple Character Deaths, Violence, Coarse Language, Yaoi.
1. How It Feels To Be Owned

Okay so disclaimer

I do not own Kingdom Hearts or anything affiliated with it!

okay so this story is a little morbid... okay by the end it'll be totally morbid! BUT!!!!! I am warning you now! so it's all good.

Warnings: Rape, Incest, Implied Yaoi, Violence and heaps of other warnins that come more later with the story that i'll list as they appear.

Anyway If you don't like don't read it and enjoy the first chapter of 'Look At Me Before I Am Gone'.

* * *

The scene at present contains an older man about 40 odd years and a young boy appearing to be thirteen. The boy can be found cowering on the bedding in a foetal ball, tears streaming from his eyes. Standing before the boy the older man closed his eyes, replaying the past hour in his head committing every scream, cry, plead and sigh to memory. Closing the final image on this recent memory he opened his eyes while his mouth snaked its way into a smile.

"Ah, my dear Roxas. As good as always."

Pulling up his pants and fastening them he leaned forward to pull Roxas' face closer to his own. Watching the boy's tears fall aroused the man once again, however, he'd already broken the boy so there was no reason to torture him further.

Looking down at his unoccupied hand he noticed Roxas' essence covering it. Holding his hand to Roxas' face he commanded him to clean it off. Opening his eyes gently and examining the man's face made Roxas fear the consequences. His hesitant tongue began to probe out of his red, bruised lips ready to clean the hand presented to him. Keeping his eyes solely on his assailant to ensure all the torture wasn't going to begin again. However, the elder of the two formulated another idea.

Deciding that the boy was taking too long he covered his sullied hand over Roxas' mouth. Wiping the hand across his mouth he moved it down Roxas' neck and to his chest. Finally deciding that everything was over and done with the assailant spat on the boy Roxas' face. About turning and walking toward the door the man left behind the haunting words,

"I own _you_. Don't even try to fight it."

Keeping his eyes trained on the door Roxas finally allowed his body to be wracked with sobs and choked cries once he'd noted the final light in the house go off and the last door click shut.

Suffering in silence Roxas allowed only one question to roam his mind,

_Why does Dad do this to me?_

Finally exhaustion consumed his body and he fell to sleep. Escaping this world to a world where ducks can talk and aeroplanes are made out of gummi pieces. Never hearing two doors open or feeling the voices in the hall burn his ears.

* * *

Okay so my story is gunna be morbid. ='[ I feel bad for my Roxas.

*cuddles Roxas*

Anyway, Read and Review please? I'll give out Jelly! The yummy Aussie KIND!


	2. What You Come Home To

Okay Chapter two =]

I'm hoping that by posting on fanfiction it'll get my butt into gear to finish this fic!

Anyway here is chapter two!

Warnings: Mentioned Child Abuse, to a lesser extent witnessing domestic abuse, mentioned violence and incest.

* * *

Sighing so as to not wake the naked sleeping boy, a young man looking to be about eighteen adorned with blond spikes, walked into the bedroom picked up Roxas' sleeping form and placed him under his sheets and doona.

Patting the boy on the head, the eighteen year old bent down to kiss his forehead. Standing back up he looked on with apologetic eyes at the sleeping form in the bed. Taking a step back and turning on his heel the man made for the door. The face of another teen, near identical to the sleeping boy save for his brunette hair which spiked out randomly much like his own, appeared in the doorway, leaning against its frame. Smiling weakly as he walked over, the elder of the two scruffed the boy's hair affectionately when he got to the doorway.

"He was crying for over three hours tonight." The boy informed the elder quietly. All the while his eyes were downcast at his feet.

The blond turned his attention from the thirteen year old to the blond in the bed. A scowl crossed his features and he found uncontrollable, languid words passed his lips without his permission.

"I'm sorry Sora. I got stuck working the late shift. It infuriates me to know he keeps doing this. I just wish I could make him go away for good. But I'd hate to be sent away from all of you for it."

"I know. It's not your fault Cloud. I... feel so helpless. Our brother, my TWIN, is being assaulted and I can't do anything. I wish Mom was here."

"I'm sorry. I just... I wish I could help. You know? It would be good if I could get enough money to take you three away from him. All three of us could raise Denzel in an environment that isn't corrupted by incestuous lust and primal sex."

Cloud looked on helplessly at his two brothers. Roxas looked like he was finally at peace, sleeping away all the anguish, escaping his daily hell. Then Sora, who held so much compassion for his twin brother. Watching on helplessly from the sidelines, never able to help for fear that his life would come to an untimely end. He cried many angel tears for his hell trapped sibling.

A dull crying was suddenly heard by the two in the hallway. Noting that it wasn't coming from the bedroom they resided in front of, they moved on forwards a little ways up the hall to stand in front of a door where the crying appeared to be louder.

Opening and closing the door as they stepped into the room, both boys found their youngest sibling, Denzel, sobbing and tossing and turning in his sheets, covered in a cold sweat. Moving towards the head of the bed, Cloud crouched down next to Denzel's head and placed his hand over the little boy's forehead. Moving to sit next to the boys flailing body on the bed, Sora, held the boys arms down lightly, rubbing both palms up and down his upper arms.

"Denzel... Hush..."

"Denzel sweetie, it's only a bad dream..." Sora cooed.

"Shh... Denzel... Baby..."Cloud lulled.

The two boy's words sounded like chants that they sang over and over, trying desperately to settle Denzel, lest he wake their Father and have him belt the child. Suddenly Denzel sat bolt upright screaming, his eyes wide in horror looking completely haunted. One word dripping from his lips,

"MOMMY!"

* * *

Did you see those sibligs coming? Bet you didn't! =] anyway did you like?

Read and Review I like reviews they make me feel like a good writer and I live for them! =]

Oh wait u'll all want the treat eh? okay how's about a copy of the never made never released copy of 'Kingdom Hearts: The Yaoi Files'?


	3. What You Wake Up To

Wooo! Chapter Three! Enjoy or feel really sad I don't mind.

I wanna know what feelings I evoke from you people.

* * *

Tossing over in his bed and furrowing his brows, Roxas gingerly opened his eyes and squinted at the morning light flowing in through his light curtains. He had always thought that he should get some darker ones.

_It's morning already? Goddammit! I despise the mornings. It opens a brand new day with the same damn routines. The same shit is going to go down today. There is no point even getting up!_

Looking out of his bedroom door from his bed, Roxas saw a flash of a tall blond, bare chested man, with blue eyes that quickly scanned his room. Roxas immediately sunk down into his bedding in hopes of not being found out. Too late and too slow, the blond backtracked to Roxas' door and stood in the doorway, leaning on the frame.

'Roxas. You can't honestly think after all this time that I don't know all your tricks? Stop lazing about!' To this comment, Roxas popped his head from under the covers and poked his tongue out at his older brother. Poking his tongue back Cloud smiled and continued, 'I'm going downstairs to make your favourite breakfast. It will be ready in about half an hour. Okay? Now get up so I can go start it!'

With the promise of getting up Cloud left the doorway and made his way downstairs. Once Roxas heard the retreating footsteps he sunk back down into the bedding. Suddenly Roxas' mind clicked and he realised he had not gone to sleep in his covers. He also did not recall waking up at any point in the night to get under the sheets. Thinking back to the night before made Roxas cringe and shudder, that wasn't really what he wanted to be thinking about right now. Sighing Roxas closed his eyes for a moment and rolled over toward his window. Dammit! It was still morning.

* * *

After three quarters of an hour Roxas figured it was time to get ready for the day. Throwing back the covers, he sat up and near instantly shivered and shook. Pulling his feet out from under the covers, Roxas gingerly placed them on the ground and stood.

_Damn it's really cold. I'd better shower. It'll warm me up and clean... me off._

Walking toward the door, and using the frame as a cover, Roxas checked the hall. As soon as he saw it was all clear Roxas made for the bathroom as quickly as he could. However in his haste Roxas didn't realise the bathroom was currently occupied and with his thoughts elsewhere he had also failed to notice who it was currently occupying the bathroom. Hearing his voice sent chills up Roxas' spine. His fear kept him in place, rather than allowing him to run.

'Roxas my dear boy, back for more already? I was just thinking about you and what we could be doing.'

Beckoning Roxas over, his father watched in anticipation as the young, naked boy took shaky steps forward. The boy's head turning to the door, silently pleading for some help or some saviour to fly in and stop what his father was about to do to him.

* * *

Downstairs in the kitchen/diner Cloud put a plate in front of Sora. Sora's eyes scanned the food noting that it was Roxas' favourite, waffles with chocolate sauce, accompanied by fresh strawberries, bananas and Neapolitan ice cream. A Saturday morning treat that Cloud made for them every fourth Saturday. Sora started to pick at his food, eating small bites as he watched Cloud go about the kitchen, placing the other meals at the table and cleaning up after himself in the kitchen.

Neither spoke as they heard the unsanctioned act occurring on the next floor. Screams, cries and pleas could be heard below and both Cloud and Sora closed their eyes willing not to be there.

Hearing a stair creak Cloud dropped the frying pan he had just finished drying. Light footsteps could just be heard making Cloud investigate the noise, leaving the frying pan on the ground. Seeing his youngest brother Denzel, he moved forward to the stairs to pick up the youngster. Rubbing his eyes Denzel whimpered out the words,

'Roxas woke me up.'

Holding his arms out Denzel allowed Cloud to pick up his small frame and to take him into the kitchen. Sitting down next to Sora and pulling Denzel into his lap, Cloud looked on at the thirteen year old. At present he was poking pieces of strawberry and banana with his spork. Turning away from the table and Cloud's breakfast, Denzel cuddled into Cloud and asked the two about the current situation. This was something that the two had become accustomed to.

'Cloud, Sora... What's happening to Roxas?'

Sora flinched, dropping his spork, making the other two at the table flinch as well. Denzel, realising that Sora was not going to answer his question, or say anything, looked up expectantly at Cloud, who sighed and averted his gaze.

'Denzel, it's something not good, okay? You're only seven so it's hard to explain. Please don't ask again though. Roxas will tell you when you're older if he wants to.' answered Cloud.

The next few minutes passed in silence with sounds of muffled whimpers and cries from upstairs. Cloud took up his spork and alternated bites of food between Denzel and himself. Sora resumed picking at his food occasionally taking a small bite. These quiet minutes between the brothers were broken when the doorbell chimed. Sora pushed himself up and out of his chair and made his way over to the door. Hearing a loud, resounding crash, and his brother's painful scream as he opened the door, Sora's attention was drawn to the staircase and he failed to note who was at the door. Roxas' scream resounded throughout the house making all the brothers flinch and Denzel to hide his head in Cloud's chest.

Denzel started to cry as Cloud wrapped his arms around the young child and whispered light affirmations in his ear. Denzel's small voice could be heard from Cloud's chest,

'What is Daddy doing to Roxas Cloud? Why is Roxas screaming like that?'

Sora looked over to Denzel and put his head down. A deep laugh could be heard from behind Sora making His and Cloud's heads whip around to the voice. The man stepped into the foyer and wiped his feet on the mat before answering the child.

'That dear child is the sounds of very pleasurable se—'

Cloud covered the young boy's ears as soon as he figured out what he was going to tell him. Growling Cloud barked at the older man,

'How dare you Zexion! He is a young child! Why are you even here? What is stopping me from throwing you out right now?'

A malicious grin just formed on Zexion's face as he headed for Cloud.

'I am here because your father invited me here. I am still in your house because you know you would put your brother's sanity in critical danger if you threw me out. I am still walking towards you because I want your youngest brother to know what real danger feels like.'

Cloud pulled Denzel behind him and inched his way around Zexion's path keeping himself between Zexion and Denzel. However Zexion's words had frightened Denzel and before Cloud had him at the safe halfway point he darted for Sora. Being quicker than Denzel Zexion grabbed a hold of the young boy and started toward the stairs with him.

'Perhaps I could answer all his questions if I show him. Oh he'll be the best. All nice and small and tight and then we both have someone to have fun with.'

Sora's horror stricken face said it all to Cloud. Sora's scream could be heard as Cloud lunged towards the older man, slugging him in the side of the head with his fist. Dropping Denzel, Zexion turned back and swung at Cloud knocking him in the chest, the force throwing him to the ground. Denzel picked himself up and bolted for Sora, who was waiting with open arms to protect the boy. Zexion watched the reactions of the two younger boys watching their brother writhing on the floor before ascending the stairs.

Once Sora had noted that Zexion had completely left their presence he ran over to Cloud and gingerly inspected his chest. Cloud coughed and sat upright. Lifting one knee to rest his arm on, Cloud turned to Sora then to the hallway.

'Dammit! I didn't see that coming. Is Denzel okay? Was he hurt?'

Sora placed an arm around Denzel.

'He's all right, just a little scared and shaken.' Sora replied solemnly.

The three boys stayed this way for a while, silent save for the deep, wheezing breaths of Cloud. They all kept their eyes on the staircase, just praying their brother would descend. No luck for the sounds that descended instead, were enough to send both boys bolting outside, Denzel in Clouds arms, and away from the house with their coats. A piercing scream had shattered the silent house and cries dragged behind the three fleeing the house. The cries of 'No, no-no no no no no no. Please not that! Ple-ASE NO DON'T!' now haunted the near empty house, flooding down the staircase and into the abandoned rooms.

* * *

Okay so thats the third chapter. I hope it was all you dreamed and more.

Read and Review Please! till next year... lol jokes.


	4. Roxas' Plight

So here I am again. I am soooo sorry. I never expected to ACTUALLY take a year for those who have actually stuck with me. =] Fingers crossed I can get this story done for you all. i know exactly how it's going to end and some of the inbetween story to get us there but i just have to get it out into the open i guess. =]

anyway i do not own and please enjoy the massive chapter four. =]

* * *

Sprinting ahead Sora blinked back tears as his mind worked desperately to cloud over and erase his brother's screams. To forget the fact that he and his brothers ran out and abandoned Roxas, left only to the devices of his aggressors. Looking into the distance Sora saw their salvation, the city's cemetery. Sora felt the pain in his legs and lungs ebb away as a new feeling overwhelmed him. He became numb and slowly as he closed his eyes he felt the power resonate throughout his body, giving him the final push to get him to where he desperately felt he needed to be. Opening his eyes, he put his legs into overdrive. After flying through the gates and nearly knocking over a group of mourners, Sora came to a complete halt. Flicking his head from side to side, Sora frantically sought the path to the gravestone he was after.

Cloud, finally catching up to his desperate brother, hitched Denzel further up his body and swung him onto his hip. Placing a hand on Sora's shoulder, he noticed the lost look in his brothers eye, the tears welling as he looked up at Cloud for an answer. Cloud just shook his head down at Sora. Sora's tears finally fell freely and he put his head down allowing his shoulders to shake with the sobs he had held back. Cloud moved his hand from Sora's shuddering shoulder to the back of his head and he pulled him into his chest. Closing his eyes, Cloud mentally beat himself for everything that had happened in his family. Opening his eyes he peeked over at Denzel who was looking at Sora and then into the distance. Cloud looked back down at Sora. He was a total mess.

'Sora, breathe' Cloud soothed.

After patting Sora's head Cloud stepped around his brother and walked down toward the back row of gravestones. Turning his head towards Sora, Denzel called out to him. Seeing the ghostly white face of his brother he motioned with his hands for Sora to follow. Sora's body registered his brother beckoning him and began to follow; his mind however, was flying through all the memories that brought them here in the first place.

'_Stewart, why won't you let me go to the shopping centre anymore, let alone anywhere at all?' the soft sound of his Mother's voice was heard._

'_Because you embarrass me Lilly. Everyone around town is calling you a slut and I cannot let them see you and call you those names. Do you have any idea how my career is suffering?' Sora now heard the gruff voice of his Father._

_Sora was sitting at the top of the stairs with Roxas. It had become a regular appointment of the two as of late, ever since his father had started to touch Roxas in places better left to the imagination. The boys knew their father was lying, in part. No one was going around the town saying such a thing, no one but their father. He had made her quit her job, saying he could support them both on his income alone, and then turned around and told her she was to never leave the house for anything. Soon enough their father was going around the town spreading many rumours, things like she was agoraphobic, which was never the case. Their Mother was quite the social butterfly in fact and enjoyed going out for coffee with friends or for a walk in the park with her family._

'_But I haven't done anything! You know that! I would never dream of doing such a thing! I love you too much, I have been so devoted to you!' Lilly's voice now came out strained and the boys knew she was on the verge of crying._

_Sora got up and walked away. He couldn't handle the sound of his mother crying. Nor could he handle the fact that his father had sworn to kill her if the boys ever spoke of his deeds and the gossip he was spreading about the town._

(Months later)

… '_Cloud, if you do not show your proper respects to me… ah… You might just find yourself unable… TO PROTECT YOUR BROTHERS!'_

_A gunshot rang in the air._

_The image of their mother falling to the ground, blood spilling from between her lips, her arms contorted from the lack of human cognitive response to falling stuck in Sora's mind. He felt himself being ushered out of the room by Cloud's strong arms. He remembered being in Cloud's room and falling into a heap on the floor against his brother's blanket box, then… nothing._

Sora, now taking in his surroundings looked at the gravestone they had stopped in front of.

_Lilly Strife _

_Aged 35 years_

'_Birth and Death are our only light'_

Taking a shuddering step forward Sora collapsed, exhausted and crying, the adrenaline that once coursed his body now making him shake and shudder. Kneeling down, Cloud let go of Denzel only to take Sora into his arms moments later.

Denzel stared at the gravestone for a moment, remembering his Mother's body fall to the ground with a thud. He remembered Cloud scooping his little body into his arms and being in Cloud's room for a split second. He finally remembered waking up in Cloud's bed with Cloud reading a book in his window lounger. He walked up the gravestone and gave it a kiss over his mother's portrait, before going over to Cloud and Sora and joining in their cuddle, allowing his tears to fall freely. Cloud put his arm around Denzel's shoulders pulling him closer into his chest. Blinking back tears Cloud rested his chin on Sora's head and looked into the distance.

* * *

Opening his eyes gingerly, Roxas sat up, ignoring all the aches and stings, and looked around. Hissing loudly as his hand caught on some glass, his eyes opened wide when he glimpsed at his arms. Looking down Roxas saw that his legs were in no better condition. He was covered from shoulders to toes in scratches, gashes, bruises and lumps. Turning his head away from his body in disgust Roxas saw the glass that lined every inch of the bathroom floor. Roxas looked up and grabbed the bench to hoist him up. Gingerly he made his way over the slivers to the bath that was sitting on the Northern wall. Turning to sit on the edge of the bath Roxas lost balance and felt gravity pull him back into the bath.

Roxas flinched, when he thought he felt impact. When he didn't feel any pain, but felt hard calloused hands holding him he feared the worst. Peeking through one eye, Roxas sighed in relief. There standing above him were sea green eyes framed by milk white skin and a curtain of silver hair. Staring into his saviours eyes, he noted a hint of concern and confusion. Blushing as the young man pulled him back up and into his body, Roxas watched as his hair glided back to frame the sides of his face.

'Riku thanks…'

Roxas' blush deepened as the realisation of his nakedness sunk in. He now noted that he was naked, in front of his twin brother's best friend-come love interest, and he quickly tried to cover his body up. Looking away bashfully to his left, Roxas looked into the mirror and paled ten tones lighter. In the mirror his reflection showed the extent of his morning horror. Scald marks down the right side of his neck, the light slice from the knife held against his cheek, the nicks from the shattered shower screen. The palm imprint on his left cheek, the multiple bruises over his eyebrow, on the apple of his cheek, his swollen lips... Roxas' head was spinning. Every little mark he saw on his face, immediately brought forth the memory related to it. Memories of his father stepping back from the jet of water and beckoning him into the shower, holding his arms behind his back and turning the cold water off and slamming on the hot, his back hitting the floor as the glass shattered, Zexion holding the knife to his eyes, neck and finally getting too carried away and slicing his cheek, his father slapping his face because he wouldn't take Zexion into his mouth. His eyes frantically darting from one mark to the next, Roxas was finally overcome with darkness as memories and his father's words rung in the air.

'_Oh look, your brothers have fucked off and left you here to DIE.'_

Riku looked down in surprise at the boy who had fainted and slumped in his arms. Where were his brothers? Where was Sora? What was going on? And why has no one stopped this before it got this far? Riku sighed and took Roxas back to his bedroom. Laying Roxas on his bed, he made his way over to Roxas' cupboard and flicked through all of his clothing.

* * *

Cloud continued to look forward as his brothers wept over their mother's grave. Thinking back to that night, Cloud felt a wave of guilt and self-loathing wash over him as he remembered the night his mother was murdered.

'_Stewart why won't you make love with me anymore? '_

_A woman with soft brown hair asked timidly. She nervously flicked her hair behind her ear in anticipation of the answer. One she was sure she was not going to like. She never used to be like this, timid and nervous, she used to be confident and empowered. She used to be able to ask the tough questions and have a decent conversation with anyone and everyone._

_As per the usual, Roxas and Sora sat atop the stairs, this time with their eldest brother Cloud, and listened in on the conversation. They all knew why and Cloud and Sora looked over at Roxas to see how he was fairing with this conversation changer. Roxas just stared off into the kitchen, not really taking in what it was he was particularly staring at. His eyes brimming with tears to be shed over the memories of more recent nights where his father had become more violent. His father had been violating him now for 9 months and the penetration had started at least 5 months ago. Sora noted his distant eyes and watched as his brother ground his teeth together to keep himself from howling in misery._

'_Lilly, I don't love you anymore. I'd much rather you kept your distance. Even better, if you left this house and I never had to see your face again.'_

_The boys' eyes widened at the statement that cut through the silence they all shared. They heard their mother gasp and choke back a sob._

'_How can you say something like that Stewart Robert Larkey?'_

_Lilly's voice was as quiet as a mouse. Her hands fiddled in her lap as she smoothed out her lacey night slip dress. Lilly mustered up her remaining strength to challenge her husband's previous statement. She had to prove to her son's, whom she knew to be at the top of the stairs, that she was still the pillar of strength they needed._

'_I have been nothing but loving toward you. The perfect wife. What about our sons? Do you have any idea what this will do to them? I mean the twins are about to enter middle school and Cloud is doing his final studies. They don't need this added stress!'_

_Stewart glared daggers at his wife Lilly, before closing his eyes, smiling and huffing out a laugh._

'_You want to know why Lilly? Because I have an even younger ass to pound.'_

_Lilly's eyes widened in shock. This was something the boys did not need to hear. Their father was with another woman, violating their marriage. This was all for a young girl, who probably didn't even know what she wanted, that she was violating another woman's trust._

'_I cannot believe you Stewart. You tell me I am never to leave this house and you threaten me with your gun and swear on Denzel's head that you will let Zexion rape me in FRONT of your eyes when I tried to go out ONCE, and now you're telling me that you have found a nice young girl to - for lack of a better word – fuck?'_

_Stewart laughed even louder now._

'_Oh darling you have it all wrong. I'm not fucking a younger woman…'_

_Lilly looked confused for a moment before it sunk in._

'_A man.'_

_Lilly gasped again._

'_No sweetie. Not a man. A boy'_

_Stewart knew he was cutting her up inside with his use of 'endearing terms' that were hollow and void of the actual love that would usually fill them. Stewart was aware of the boy's presence at the top of the stairs and he was damn sure Lilly knew they were there. Thinking deeper he realised the best way to cut this woman into pieces._

'_Roxas, I know you're there. Come in dear boy.'_

_Roxas flinched at his father's beckon however he still stood and descended the stairs. Lilly turned to her son and beckoned him over. Cuddling him she whispered to him her apologies for the argument he had inevitably heard. She promised him safety and comfort. Telling him she would take all the boys with her when she left._

'_Roxas, come sit on daddy's lap.'_

_Stewart beckoned the boy over from his mother knowing he would comply._

'_Stewart he isn't three anymore. He doesn't need to b-…'_

_Lilly watched in shock as her son walked over to his father and straddled his lap and sat there, his bangs falling into his eyes. They didn't stop the eye of a mother noticing the tears that spilled from his eyes. Lilly became enraged. No one would ever get away with doing anything to her sons. Not even her husband would get away with laying even a hand on them._

'_Stewart what have you done to our son! What are you doing to him? You prick! How could you do this to our baby boy!'_

_Stewart chose to not reply to his wife, but to show her the extent of his power over their son._

'_Roxas, bounce for me… and moan for me.'_

_Lilly watched on in horror as her son did just that. Standing and taking shaky steps towards the doorway to stairs she tried to coax Roxas over to her._

'_Roxas, baby, its momma. Please darling you do not have to do anything he says, just get off his lap and come to me. We'll go somewhere safe. I will get YOU somewhere safe!'_

_Cloud couldn't take it anymore. His brother was being humiliated, his mother becoming mortified and his father was taking pleasure in this. Quickly descending the stairs, Sora in hot pursuit, Cloud came into the room, powering past his mother to the midway point between his two parents. He motioned to Sora to stop following once he felt he was just past their mother. Lilly stared at her eldest two sons throwing themselves into the situation._

'_Cloud…'_

_Stewart held a hand on Roxas' leg to still the boy and motioned him to get off. Roxas complied, not even registering when Cloud stepped forward and grabbed his wrist dragging him behind his body for Sora. Sora raced ahead with his mother to Roxas' side pulling him back toward the door and away from Cloud. Roxas' arms instinctively encircled his own chest and waist as he sunk to the floor._

_Stewart stood and glowered at Cloud. Walking over to the mantle over the fireplace he reached for something. Lilly knew what he kept behind there and watched her husband search for it. She looked at her eldest son; he clearly had no clue as he was not backing down._

'_Cloud, if you do not show your proper respects to me… ah… You might just find yourself unable… TO PROTECT YOUR BROTHERS!'_

_Lilly sprinted towards her son. Cloud looked shocked as he saw what his father held. He felt his body being shoved to the side as he watched his father's finger clasp around the trigger._

_The gunshot rang in the air._

_The light exclamation of a female voice made all three sons turn their heads towards their mother, looks of horror and despair on their faces as they watched her fall to the ground. The tiny scream was most unexpected and made the entire room look towards the entrance of the room._

'_MOMMY!'_

_Denzel's young voice screamed. He raced over to his mother's crumpled body but was stopped short by Cloud collecting him in his arms and ushering the older two out of the room. One comment rang in the air as a psychotic laugh captured the house._

'_You're a crazy ass bastard.'_

Hearing stones behind him, Cloud released his brothers and stood turning. Standing before him was Riku, with his clothed brother in his arms. He looked over his brothers body as he took him from Riku. Gashes and slashes, bruises and a scalded neck and chest adorned his younger brother. He looked down at him helplessly. Sora looked up at Cloud and saw the extent of the damage done to his brother's body by the limp arm that hung at his side. His eyes shifted to Riku. He had a lot of explaining to do, and now.

'I found him in the bathroom. No one in sight. None of you were there. What's going on?'

Riku's voice held anger and sympathy. And Sora wondered how Riku managed that. Sora stood up from his spot and walked over to Riku. He silently took his hand and led him over to a nearby tree.

'Our Dad… rapes…'

Sora choked up.

'Roxas.'

Riku finished for Sora, his eyes trailing over to the unconscious boy in Cloud's arms in the distance. Sora looked up grateful.

'It's been going on for ages. Mom died from trying to step in. We were all threatened with him doing his worst on Denzel. And then he started getting Zexion involved. He's psychotic and gives Dad the worst ideas.'

Riku sat in silence taking in the new information.

'We need to get him to a hospital. Your father needs to be stopped.'

Sora looked at Riku through the corner of his eyes as he said this.

'Don't you think we have tried? Dad passes it off as Roxas has been playing too rough with his 'boyfriend' and because he is the judge of this town everyone just accepts it. Because of his job the town believes he is too ethical and will always uphold the law. It's getting harder every time to go with his lies.'

Riku sighed and hung his head, looking down at Sora who watched Cloud in the distance try to clean some of the blood off of Roxas' face.

'Sora… Your brother needs your help. I can see it in his eyes, I saw it today. He's screaming for someone to come and help him. He can't keep trying to do this on his own, he's about to give up.'

Sora switched his attention to Riku this time. His head flicking up to Riku's noting the seriousness in his demeanour. Sora shook in horror. Was Riku right? Was Roxas about to give up? This had been going on for ages now and Roxas' had tried to be the pillar of strength. Maybe he was getting tired.

Walking back down to Cloud, Roxas and Denzel, Sora made serious eyes at Cloud. The eyes that said, we need to do something, something NOW. Cloud nodded and hitched Roxas further up his body.

Riku turned and lead the group away to the entrance, Cloud following behind. Sora looked at his younger brother and held out his hand for Denzel to take. Denzel looked from the hand offered, to his mother's grave, then finally back to the hand which he took. Sora smiled emptily at Denzel who continued to look ahead at the unconscious face of his brother lying on Clouds shoulder. Denzel's next words shocked Sora to his core and brought sense to the conscious twin.

'That man has to pay for what he has done to Roxas. He is no longer my father and I no longer respect him.'

Briefly wondering how Denzel had been able to articulate that sentence, Sora stepped forward, hand in hand with his youngest brother, to catch up to his brother and friend.

Walking along the white stone path, another silence befell the group, allowing quiet contemplation. Subconsciously they drew in closer together as two young men walked through the gates to the cemetery. One with hair like fire and emerald eyes the other with a sandy mullet and eyes that rivalled the ocean depths. Small tattoos decorated the cheeks just below the eyes of the flame-red head, who at this present moment looked quite irritated.

'Demyx, SHUT UP!'

The blond mocked offense but quickly laughed it off.

'Axel all I am saying is… woah!'

Demyx's eyes widened and he briskly picked up his pace making a beeline for the tight group. Axel sighed and followed his childhood friend. As Axel neared the group he gasped as he caught the sight of the boy thrashing about in a blond man's arms.

'ROXAS! Stop! It's Cloud… and Sora… and Denzel. You're safe!'

* * *

As usual please read and review. Till next time, I SWEAR it won't take me a bloody year!


	5. How It Feels To Be Useless

Finally chapter five! I am hoping to keep pumping these out! I did have a little trouble getting this out, but I am proud of this chapter. I have ideas for little off shoots to this story so keep your eyes peeled! 0.0

Bear in mind guys... that 24 hours still haven't passed. It's really hard to go so in depth and then not jump ahead heaps, let me know how you think this story style is going and if you mind me jumping a couple days or not? I will try my best.

Good reading =]

* * *

Looking out his window at the sun setting Roxas' face seemed void of emotion. Sitting with his legs up, Roxas instinctively cuddled his legs, with his bandaged arms, and pulled them closer. Looking on from the bedroom door stood Cloud and Axel. Leaning against the frame on either side, both boys looked on deep in their thoughts. Cloud cringed at the memory of earlier that day at the cemetery.

'_ROXAS! Stop! It's Cloud… and Sora… and Denzel. You're safe!'_

_Roxas continued to thrash around in his brother's arms, crying and begging for it to stop. His arms, crossed across his chest, wiggled as Roxas attempted to snatch them back and use them in his defence. Cloud's eyes closed as he concentrated on calming his brother and mentally beat himself for all that had transpired._

'_No, no, no, no-no-no-no-no! LET GO OF ME! Cloud, HELP ME! Please Sora! Where are you?'_

_Cloud, watching out of the corner of his eye, saw Denzel turn his head towards Sora and bury it in Sora's hip. Sora instinctively held his younger brother's head in place as he watched with tears flowing down his face, tears that did not go unnoticed by Riku. Cloud turned towards Riku and watched as his attention focused on Roxas and listened as he spoke in his deep soothing voice._

'_Roxas, its Riku. You're in Cloud's arms. He is right here, helping you. Sora and Denzel are here too they want to talk to you. You need to realise we are all right here. Please calm down.'_

_Roxas continued to thrash about tears consuming his eyes and streaming down his face, two rivers of pain, agony and frustration. He continued to plead and beg, his motions becoming less and less stressed as his tears became more violent. He was retreating into his memory and they needed to pull him out of it fast._

_Cloud felt the presence of another stepping forward and kneeling down. Flashing a look out from under his lashes Cloud noted it was Axel. His eyes followed Axel's left hand as he put it over one of Roxas' balled fists. Cloud noted Roxas' hand tensing, his hand shaking from the left over adrenaline. He wasn't sure what Axel was going to do, however he prayed to the deities that it would help._

'_Roxas, its Axel, one of Cloud's friends from school. Uhmm…'_

_Roxas' fists relaxed and he stopped shaking. His breath, once erratic, now became an exhausted pant. All the boys looked on perplexed at the effect Axel was having on Roxas._

'_Cloud, Sora and Denzel are all here. Riku is here as well. We are all here. You are safe.'_

_Roxas' eyes squeezed together before opening. Roxas appeared dazed as he blinked a few times till he seemed to focus on Axel. Still slightly dazed he looked from his right to his left to see the mop of blond hair and blue eyes to rival his own. Puffing Roxas struggled to regain his normal breathing pattern._

'_Cl-… Cloud?'_

_Roxas lifted his hand to his brother's face, to ensure he really was there. Cloud caught his brother's hand and held it to his cheek. Looking up he smiled over at his friend, who was still kneeling in front of him, before looking down and smiling at his brother._

'_Yea Roxas it's me.'_

'_Cloud...'_

_Roxas smiled at his brother, tears welling up in his eyes. Cloud pulled his brother up into a hug apologising profusely for running out and leaving him. He turned his head and buried his nose and lips in Roxas' hair, kissing him over and over. Cloud looked over at Axel and mouthed a thank you before returning his attention to his brother in his arms. Wrapping his arms around Roxas' shoulders he held him close to his self and gently rocked them back and forth. Holding back tears he quoted his mother in a whisper._

'_You are my brave boy. I love you.'_

_Holding Roxas at an arms-length Cloud watched as Roxas' eyes shot open in shock. That must have sounded a lot like his mother. The look on Roxas' face slowly contorted in what appeared to be pain and grief before the tears took over. His whole body shuddered with sobs, apologies flooded from his mouth and his grip tightened around Cloud._

'_Mom I'm so sorry, so sorry. It's all my fault, my entire fault you're gone. I love you too.'_

_Shaking his head, Cloud picked up his brother, lifting him under his knees and his upper back, and started toward the entrance of the cemetery. He faintly felt to presence of his family and friends present follow closely behind, even Axel. This was going to take some explaining, an explanation that he was not entitled to give._

Coming out of his memory Cloud held the haunting words, words his brother had dangerously whispered soon after Cloud had carried him out of the cemetery.

_I swear I will kill myself Cloud if you take me to that fucking hospital._

Cloud closed his eyes and looked away. That had been a huge game changer today. Cloud didn't dare to even challenge Roxas, he had already been through so much, and Cloud felt that those words were not an empty threat.

'Axel do you mind keeping an eye on Roxas for me? It's getting pretty late and I think we're all beginning to get hungry. I'm going to go downstairs and make something for dinner.'

He watched Axel nod and affirm that he would stay put, before turning on his heel and walking down the staircase and into the kitchen. Now all Cloud had to do was decide to make for the masses.

* * *

Please review. =] I hope this story and the CHAPTER are meeting your expectations.

till next time xoxo


	6. How it Feels To Be Clueless

And Chapter Six everybody! Luv you all. Let me know how it's going!

* * *

After watching Cloud's retreating body, Axel turned back to the troubled teen in the bedroom. He had been watching him from afar for about an hour now and he hadn't gotten any answers nor were there any clues as to who was doing this, although he had a pretty good idea. He had heard Riku and Sora in what he believed to be the bathroom, whispering amongst themselves and sweeping up what sounded like glass. Sighing Axel walked ahead into the room to the only person who could give him answers.

'Hey Roxas, long time no see, huh?'

A grunt was his only reply, the boy's eyes never leaving the setting sun. Axel looked on worriedly at the teen. Sitting on the edge of the bed Axel felt his hip brush Roxas' foot and he could swear he heard Roxas gasp slightly. Watching the youth intently Axel thought about how he would ask what had happened without Roxas completely shutting down on him. Looking around the room, Axel's eyes fell on Roxas' iPod attached to a speaker dock at the foot of the bed. Leaning over Axel whispered quietly to himself all the while listening for any response from the boy next to him.

'I wonder what you have been listening to.'

Before Axel even had the chance to touch the play button Roxas had moved forward and detached his iPod, throwing it carelessly at the floor. Axel was a little taken aback. What was wrong with this kid?

It wasn't long before Sora stepped into the room, after hearing the thud of the iPod. Picking up the iPod Sora took it back over to the dock and replaced it, pressing play along the way.

'Roxas just doesn't like people other than us hearing him sing.'

Axel watched the iPod and took note of the song, Iridescent, that played. He had heard this song before, however it wasn't the usual voice he was used to. Could it be possible that Roxas was really singing this song? Listening intently to the song, Axel noted that it was the bands instrumental with Roxas singing the lyrics. He was in perfect time with where Chester and Mike would have been singing. His voice was beautiful; he could almost hear Roxas becoming a screamer for a band. His band needed a singer/screamer. Looking over at Roxas, his eyes caught in the ice cold ones that froze him to his core.

'_And in a burst of light that blinded every angel  
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars  
You felt the gravity of tempered grace  
Falling into empty space  
No one there to catch you in their arms'_

Axel faced Roxas fully, and took a hold of both of Roxas' hands, eliciting a blush from the thirteen year old.

'Roxas you have an amazing voice. I have a band; you should be quite familiar with it, The Kingdom of Hearts… Cloud plays bass for us on occasion. I was wondering, we currently have our guitarist singing the songs we play, his voice only reaches the lower notes however. But if you joined us, we could extend our range.'

Roxas' eyes went wide with shock. He opened his mouth to speak but just as quickly closed it. Blushing a darker red, Roxas nodded, unable to find the words to express the elation he was feeling. Axel smiled, removing his hands and reaching into his pocket. As if on cue, his phone began ringing and he quickly picked up.

'Hey Leon.'

'_Heee-eyy… that was quick'_

'Yeah I know sorry. I had just pulled out my phone to call you.'

'_Oh really? What about?'_

'I think I found us a vocalist.'

'_Aw I feel so unloved. Do I really sound that awful?'_

Axel looked at the two boys who were now both sitting on the bed, attending again to Roxas' wounds. Sora worked carefully and slowly over each cut, apologizing when his brother hissed or moaned in pain. Axel turned away facing the door. For some reason it hurt him to see Roxas in so much pain, though he couldn't understand why.

'Leon, you know why I asked him. If we want a chance at being big, AND winning any competitions, we need another vocalist!'

'_Yeah, I know Ax. I just didn't think we'd find someone that fast. So, who is it?'_

'It's Roxas Strife.'

Axel pulled the phone away from his ear after hearing a rather loud crash on the other end.

'You alright Leon?'

'_Yeah, ow fuck…I'm fine. I just walked into the end of my bed, you know how it juts out, and I fell over. Anyway, so the Roxas kid… is he any good?'_

Axel briefly wondered if Leon had heard the last name correctly. Turning back to Roxas he saw that he was being bandaged up by Sora. He had bandages everywhere. Looking on with a sympathetic look Axel replied to his friend.

'Of course he is! Talent must run in this family, considering Cloud can play bass and guitar and sing.'

Axel realised in that moment that Leon had not heard the last name, either that of he had not made the mental connection of the two.

'_Wait, what? Cloud's younger brother? The twin boy who was always running over our freaking monopoly board?'_

Axel looked puzzled before realising that question was not meant for him. It sounded almost rhetorical in the way it was structured.

'I'm assuming yes? Anyway I have to go, I have to help little Roxy here. Talk to you later Leon.'

Axel had walked over to Roxas at this point and had begun rubbing his hand and fingers gently through the youth's hair, noting that the gravity defying hair MUST have been a gene passed to the three eldest boys.

'_No wait Ax-…'_

Axel cut the line. He would wear the consequences later he was sure, but for now he needed to interrogate the boy. To further his understanding of the situation he had unwittingly dived head first into. Sliding his hand down the side of Roxas face his fingers landed under Roxas' chin and he lifted it gently so as to not to distress the boy more than he had appeared to be today.

Roxas looked up into Axel's eyes before snatching his head away from the hand and looking out of his window again. The last of the sun was splayed over the sky in a mixture of purple, pink and red. Axel sighed and looked rather resignedly at Sora, who watched his twin brother intently. Axel took this time to examine Roxas' body, starting at the nape of his neck and working his way down to his chest and back. Roxas was completely covered in bandages some had blood already seeping through, even though the dressings were changed only minutes ago.

Sora watched on still as Roxas turned back toward Axel and looked up at him. It was then Axel's turn to watch as Roxas turned to Sora and tipped his head towards the door. It was as though by some unspoken command Sora got up and left the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Roxas stayed quiet till his brother left before returning his attention to Axel. Remaining rather taciturn Roxas motioned in front of himself for Axel to sit. Complying with the silent request Axel sat on the edge of the bed and crossed his legs keeping one foot planted on the ground. Roxas attention once again deviated to the window as the sky turned a midnight blue and the first stars lit up for the evening. Sighing Roxas whispered his question pertaining to Axel's presence.

'So I assume you have questions and this is why you will not leave my side?'

Roxas' ocean eyes landed on Axel's emerald ones as he finished his question. Axel looked deep into the seemingly dead depths. Not even the resting place of the Titanic could challenge the depth Axel saw there. Axel opened his mouth, debating whether to bombard the boy with questions and which to ask first.

Seeing the conflict behind Axel's eyes Roxas sighed and closed his eyes. Taking a deep shuddering breath Roxas shook as he tried desperately to forget the images burning into his mind.

'I… I get raped by my father. On an almost daily basis. We don't run to the authorities about it because, first and foremost, he has threatened the life of Denzel.'

Axel's eyes widened and he felt the words leaving his mouth before he had the chance to even comprehend them.

'There's another reason, other than your brother's life, what is it?'

Roxas' head, which had returned once again the pitch black window, whipped around in shock.

'Urhmm… Uhmm… I-I…'

Sighing Axel placed his hand over Roxas' own to calm him. Moving closer Axel whispered at a level Roxas could only hear.

'It's okay. Just take your time. We have the whole night to clarify everything.'

Roxas' cheeks were consumed with blood, his blush radiating off onto Axel.

'Th-There… is m-more… than one person…'

Roxas trailed off. Axel's heartbeat began to race. Roxas closed his eyes scrunching his face, trying desperately to hold back the tears. Turning away he felt the tears drop anyway. Squinting his eyes open Roxas whispered one name as the sound of a car rolling into the driveway was heard.

'… Zexion.'

* * *

OOHHH dun dun dun! who is in the driveway! see you all in the next chapter!


	7. How It Feels To Be Recognised

So how am I going so far?

I hope that the story is meeting all expectation! =S Anyways On with the new chapter. It has become a personal goal to finish this story! =] I mean it!

I don not own anything =] and all credits for "Fade Away" go to Breaking Benjamin.

* * *

Roxas felt the tears. Hot and heavy they fell, falling with the weight of all his grief. He had never told someone so much about his life, or about the vicious nature of his father and his friends. Roxas began to get frustrated, why were there so many tears falling from his eyes? They burned and stung immensely, making him blink a few times to try and push them out. Gritting his teeth, Roxas formed a fist with his left hand and beat the wall sideways a couple of times. Roxas was acutely aware of the pair of hands that took a hold of his face and the thumbs which wiped away the burning tears. Taken aback, Roxas' eyes shot open and he thrust a questioning gaze at the owner of the hands. Axel just smiled at Roxas and wiped his thumbs one more time over the young boys' cheeks, removing any evidence of his emotions overflowing. Roxas' eyes became soft, glinting lightly, as he looked at Axel, a blush covering his cheeks. Both boys flicked their eyes towards the window when they heard a car door slam and just as quickly flicked their eyes back to each other. A fire began burning in Roxas' heart and he wasn't sure if it was because of Axel or his emotions bubbling through to the surface.

A fact that was known to very few, really only Sora, was Roxas' crush on Axel. Roxas remembered watching Cloud and Axel come home from middle school and hang out in Cloud's room. He would always try and find a reason to hang out with his brother or to just go near the two. At the time he didn't realise why this was. Over time as he began to mature he found out the reason why the red head was always on his mind. When he divulged this to Sora, he received a hug and a giggle.

'_Awww Roxas! Your first crush!'_

The echo of the memory played back in his mind. Breaking back into the present Roxas' caught the questioning glance that Axel was presenting him with. Roxas shook his head and giggled at the memory allowing his eyes to meet Axel's green questioning ones. Just as Roxas went to answer Axel's unspoken question the door to his bedroom burst open, causing Roxas' heart to go into over drive. Before either male in the room could comprehend what was transpiring, Axel was on the ground with a rather skinny brunette sitting on top of him tickling him up his sides, in his ears and at the nape of his neck. Roxas' eyes went wide as he watched the events unfold. Noting the brunette wore a lot of leather, Roxas quietly wondered how he moved about without restriction. Not twenty seconds later and Roxas' realised who it actually **was **sitting on top of Axel, tickling him to death and making him giggle like a crazed jester.

'Leon?'

Without faltering the brunette replied.

'Hey Roxas, how have you been?'

Axel, who was now in tears, mustered as much strength as he could and overpowered Leon with as much as a light grunt. Disgruntled, Leon got up and off the floor.

'That's for hanging up on me!'

Axel rubbed his sides and made a fist holding it up in the air. Leon bumped Axel's fist with his own, signifying forgiveness, and sat on the floor. Axel found his previous spot on the bed and sat back in it, sliding a little closer to Roxas' feet. Leon looked up at the two before focusing on Roxas.

'So I hear you are going to be the new lead singer of out band. So show me what you can do.'

Roxas flushed. He hated people hearing him sing. Sure he'd write a few lyrics here and there and test them out on Sora, but he mainly sang covers for songs and even then he didn't allow anyone else to hear him. Shaking his head furiously Roxas allowed his bangs to cover his eyes. Axel noting Roxas' hesitation turned back to the iPod and hit play. The foreboding guitar played over the speaker dock the iPod was attached to. Soon the soft voice of Roxas, distorted slightly, came through the music and the song burst into a delayed industrial sound of rock crossed with metal. It was the sound that once again caught Axel's attention. It was the actual band's instrumental, but with Roxas' voice, in perfect timing with Ben Burnley's voice. Roxas brought to the song the sound of a person suffering, not the sound of anthemic empathy. You could hear the heartbreak and the volumes that poured out into the vocals.

'_It's hopeless, the end will come and wash it all away  
Forsaken - I live for those I lost along the way  
And I can't remember how it all began to break  
We suffer - I live to fight and die another day_

Fast I fade away - it's almost over  
Hold on  
Slow I suffocate - I'm cold and broken  
Alone'

Leon was gobsmacked. He had one burning question on his mind. Looking up at Roxas' Leon leaned back on his elbows and turned his head toward the iPod his mouth contorting many a time whilst he formed the question.

'So… Are you… Can you… So we know that you can sing, and well… but… can you… write?'

The three in the room jumped when the unexpected deep voice answered from the doorway.

'He can write. He can write well but he doesn't like anyone to know it.'

All three boys turned their heads towards the door, seeing Cloud take up the doorway. Cloud smiled at all present in the room.

'Dinner's ready everyone.'

Turning on his heel Cloud walked downstairs and into the kitchen. He picked up two heavy serving bowls and pointed the salad bowls to Sora before heading into the large formal dining room and set them down on heatproof mats. Heading back to the kitchen Cloud made two more trips collecting the bowls, pointing out items to Riku and Denzel, and setting them on the centre of the dining room table. The bowls were filled with assorted pasta dishes and toppings. Meatballs in a Neapolitan based sauce flavoured further with barbecue sauce filled one bowl and Capellini strands filled another. A chilli mince sauce filled another container and the final two serving dishes were filled with Farfalle and Penne. Riku walked into the room holding plates and cutlery and Sora walked into the room holding two salad bowls each filled with lettuce, tomato, cheese, cucumber, capsicum, Spanish onion, carrot and olives. Placing the bowls down on the table Sora turned to return to the kitchen when he noticed his little brother coming through the doorway, not only trying to carry the large basket of buttered bread slices, but also the glass water chillers from the fridge. Giggling Sora walked over to his youngest brother and took the water chillers from his arms. Placing them down on the table Sora turned, took the wicker basket with the bread and placed it on the table, and turned back to Denzel and gripped his arms, rubbing them where the cold glass sat moments ago.

'Thank you for your help Denzel. But next time how about we just make a second trip to the kitchen instead of carrying too much? Hmm?'

Riku watched this exchange, watching Denzel flush at Sora's gentle berating. He thought about how charismatic Sora had become and thought about how well he took care of everyone around him. He would make a great father… or parent his mind quipped. Riku gasped. How could he think such a thing? Taking a seat he watched as the others filed into the room. Sora took a seat to the right of Riku and beckoned over his twin to sit to his right, opposite Riku. He watched as Roxas followed his twin's direction and his eyes followed Axel as he sat beside Roxas and Leon to his right.

His eyes trailed over to Cloud who placed a booster seat on Denzel's chair and he picked him up placing him in his chair and pushed it tight to the table. Taking his seat at the head of the table was Cloud who held a solemn look on his face. Sora grabbed the hands of Riku and Roxas, prompting everyone else to hold hands, and bowed his head closing his eyes. Sure everyone had their eyes closed with heads bowed, Sora peeked open an eye at his twin who held a beet red blush. Nudging him he smiled and closed his eye again.

'Dear heavenly beings, we thank you for the food we are lucky enough to receive and the company we surround ourselves with tonight. Amen'

A chorus of "Amen" surrounded the room and all present looked at the delicious food in front of them. A phone rang in the air and all eyes went to Axel, who blushed and checked his messages.

Where r u?

It was Demyx. Cloud looked at Axel and softened his eyes.

'Is that your friend Demyx?'

Axel nodded.

'There is plenty to go around and a spare seat at our table. Invite him along.'

'Thanks Cloud.'

Axel responded quickly to Cloud before setting his fingers in motion over the QWERTY keyboard on his phone.

At Cloud Strifes house. Meet u here?

Axel glared at his phone before sending the message. Stupid thing continued to auto correct him even though he had written the damned thing four times. Four!

Grabbing the nearest serving spoon Axel filled his plate with salad and pasta. Turning he noted the bottle of water was in Roxas' hands, so he turned back to his food and picked up his cutlery ready to eat. Hearing a grunt from his left he turned to look at Roxas, who was now glaring at his twin, who was clearly amused by something only the two were privy to. Axel watched as Roxas turned to him and pointed the water to his glass.

'Would you like some water Axel?'

Picking up his glass Axel held it closer to Roxas.

'Thank you Roxas.'

Watching the teen turn beet red again Axel began wondering. Could this boy possibly like him? And why was he so concerned about him?

* * *

Please read and review =] and look forward to seeing you in chapter eight! Love 3 xoxo


	8. What You Want Vs What You Need

Hey guys. I am proud to announce Chapter Eight! Woooo! hopefully you will all enjoy this new chapter and continue to read as I upload more and more!

Do not own except the plot!

* * *

Dinner was interesting with the many stories Leon, Axel and Cloud shared. Like the time they went for a joyride on the Grayson's boat two summers ago. Axel's story about the puffer fish had everybody at the dinner table in stiches, including Roxas. Axel turned to the boy on his left and smiled at him causing Roxas to turn fifty shades of red. Axel turned back to the conversation, however not twenty seconds later and his attention was drawn straight back to the small commotion between the blond and brunette. Sora was pouting and holding something under the table and Roxas was glaring at his twin a sour look on his face. Turning right around Axel got closer to Roxas' ear, so close Roxas could feel his hot breath.

'What's going on?'

Roxas whipped his head around surprised at the sound and sensation, narrowly missing Axel's nose. Wide eyed, he blinked a few times before regaining his composure, turning and grinning he conjured a lie to cover the kick to his brothers shin.

'Oh I ate a little too much chilli and it surprised me, Sora's leg was collateral damage from my reaction.'

'Oh.'

Axel laughed a little and turned back to the conversation at the other end of the table.

Roxas turned to his food, twirling it with his fork and then watching it slide back off. He over-heard Riku talking to Sora quietly.

'Sor, leave him be for now. He's had enough for one day and he doesn't need you stirring the pot. It'll happen in due time, just leave them alone for a bit huh?'

'Okay. I'm just so excited that he's getting attention from him. It's taken four years for Roxy to feel at least a little validated, Riku.'

Riku sighed and put his hand over Sora's. Sora looked down at the hand and smiled warmly up at Riku, who was gazing at Sora with all the love in the world. Roxas looked up at this interchange and felt his stomach contort. Twisting and turning, nausea overwhelmed Roxas and soon he was excusing himself and racing out of the room and upstairs. Cloud watched after his brother and quickly excused himself as well, leaving Sora and the rest to continue the conversation. Cloud rapidly climbed the stairs and about half way into his ascension he heard the sound of retching and the sound of water. Turning left into the bathroom Cloud found his younger brother laying against the frame of the shower. Cautiously walking over Cloud crouched down and put his right arm under Roxas' back, lifting him off the surface of the shower frame and leaning him over the toilet bowl.

'Do you feel okay Roxas?'

Roxas shook his head.

'What brought this on? Was it this morning or something else?'

Roxas whimpered.

'I saw Riku and Sor-Sora holding hands, being all lovey dovey. I-I didn't mean to have such a reaction re-really.'

Roxas' eyes became watery. Tears brimmed the edge threatening to fall. They shimmered much like showcase diamonds and Cloud couldn't help but feel the weight of sorrow in his heart for his brother.

'Did you just want to rest? I can carry you to your bed if you like? I'll even put a bucket next to your bed so you don't have to move.'

Roxas nodded, groaning as Cloud gingerly picked him up and took him to his room just down the hall. Roxas cuddled into his brother's tight chest and shook, causing the elder to tighten his grip on Roxas. He felt Cloud put him down and cover him with his sheets and blankets, his eyes all the while losing focus and black spots forming in his vision. Closing his eyes Roxas felt himself relax before…

Nothing.

His world was black… and dark…. and cold. _Roxas flung his head side to side searching for something or someone recognisable. His arms instantly cuddled around his stomach and he dry retched. His stomach was doing flips and no one was there to help. Roxas couched down on one knee and cuddled himself tightly, his arms moving from his stomach to his shoulders, before crying out in agony and frustration. This dream was frustrating him, pushing him to limits he didn't even know he had. Hearing a soft voice in the distance behind him Roxas stood, slowly turning around. Looking into the distance Roxas saw himself holding a switchblade. His eyebrows furrowed together. It was the one from the drugstore that he had been eyeing off for nearly five months now. His interest piqued and he watched to see what his doppelganger would do._

_He watched as he locked the front door…_

_As he ascended the stairs…_

_As he wrote the letter that gave away his intentions…_

_As he pulled out the blade…_

_Roxas watched as he dragged the blade from the base of his wrist to the crease of his elbow, the claret coloured fluid seeping down his arm and running into the carpet. He watched himself repeat the same action on his other arm. He watched as his doppelganger looked up at him and held out his arm, bloodied hand offering salvation from the life he was cursed with. Roxas watched the life force drip onto the floor and took a shaky step toward his mirror image. Roxas gasped as he felt a sudden heat against his back and turned the top half of his body towards the source. Roxas saw a figure standing amongst the flames, one he couldn't quite make out. Turning back to himself he saw the figure still holding the knife outstretched, as if frozen in time, the blood however still flowed and looking into his eyes he saw how devoid of any life they were. Taking shaky steps backward Roxas turned and raced for the fire._

The last thing he remembered from the dream were the emerald eyes, filled with worry and then love.

Roxas gasped awake, turning from his side and sitting bolt upright in one fluid motion Roxas huffed, as though exhausted from a marathon. Putting a hand to his head Roxas tried to forget the images in his head, shaking it for good measure. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, Roxas looked to his right and saw the outline of a figure in the dark.

'Roxas! Are you okay?'

Axel! It was Axel, his voice, his hand and he was with him in his room.

'Axel! How long have you been in here?'

Roxas queried. Axel stood up and sat down on the empty space in the bed.

'Not long, we only just decided to go to bed actually, well Cloud, Leon and I. Sora and Riku went to bed and hour and a half ago Denzel went to bed not long after you actually. And Demyx went home about an hour after we finished dinner. We decided that one of us should watch over you tonight.'

Roxas listened only partially after 'just decided to go to bed'. He couldn't believe what had happened in his dream. Axel had entered the room and his dream, Axel had saved him from himself!

Looking up at Axel, Roxas summoned all his courage and took a deep shuddering breath.

'Axel… Do you mind sleeping in my bed tonight? I'm just not feeling too right.'

Axel's eyes widened, but just as quickly softened as he climbed in under the covers.

'Yea sure. That's fine Roxas.'

Thankful Roxas turned toward Axel's bare chest and pulling his balled hands up to his chest, he curled into Axel's frame, his forehead resting on the elder's collar bone.

Axel wrapped his free arm lightly over Roxas, his hand resting over his bony hip. Pulling his other arm up and under his head, he rested his head on his forearm, and looked down at the now peacefully sleeping beauty before him. Perhaps this child could teach him a thing or two about himself. Whispering to the slumbering boy Axel felt himself become weightless and drifted off into a land of castles and close friends.

'Good night… Roxas.'

* * *

Let me know how I went, it only takes a few seconds to tell me if you like it or not! and you don't have to be a member to review either guys! don't let that stop you!

Love xoxo till next time!


	9. What Is Right For Now

Hey guys, I appologise for the HUGE delay, I was hand writing this one and I got halfway through typing it up and then couldn't find the rest of it! I fifnally found it though! WOO HOO! On top of that I have been working HEAPS! and lots of 21sts to get to. anyways on with the long awaited chapter 9 of Look at me before I am gone!

* * *

Leon and Cloud looked on from Roxas' doorway, the occupants of the room oblivious in their unconscious state. Axel at some point in the night had wrapped his other arm under Roxas and was now cuddling the other tightly, almost protectively, with his brows furrowed. And Roxas, well he was laying with his head in the centre of Axel's bare chest, his left hand balled in a fist in front of his nose and mouth. The two elder boys in the doorway giggled amongst themselves at the sight before them. Leon looked at Cloud's profile, seeing the adoration of the sight in his face, the smile reaching his eyes. That was something he had not seen in a long while, almost too long. Leon was beginning to think that Cloud would never smile like that again at his brother. Cloud's eyes flicked sideways at Leon when he felt his eyes land on him. Turning his head Cloud tilted it to the side resembling a confused puppy, evoking a light-hearted laugh from the brunette as he snaked his arms around the slightly shorter male's waist.

Turning in Leon's arms, Cloud instinctively placed his hands on the brunette's pecks and kissed his lips sweetly. Pulling away both boys felt the dull smack of a pillow hitting their faces. Leon, using his fast reflexes, caught the pillow against his and Cloud's faces. Laughing light-heartedly Leon leaned in for a quick peck on the lips before turning and locking on to Axel's laying frame.

Axel strained his neck up and watched as Leon lobbed the pillow in his and Roxas' direction, instinctively putting out his free arm to protect, not only himself, but the slumbering teen in his arms. Axel looked down at his chest just in time to see Roxas stir, lift his head in confusion, eyes squinting, and rest his chin on Axel's bare chest in search of answers. Axel watched Roxas' eyes move between his and the door and back again. He couldn't help it the laugh bubbled from inside his chest rising like a helium filled balloon. Covering his eyes with his free right arm Axel thumped his neck and head back down onto the pillow giggling. Roxas frowned and looked toward the other two again finally turning his head to them, a look of utter confusion on his face. The two shrugged in answer to his look and looked back at the red head, Cloud glancing up the hallway quickly to check that his younger siblings were not woken.

'You looked like a confused puppy! It was pretty adorable and funny.'

Roxas huffed while the other two standing in the doorway laughed out just a little too loud, before Cloud announced the plan for the day.

'Come on you two get up we're gunna practice before I have to go to work.'

Roxas' eyes widened to dinner plates as Axel huffed out his reply.

'Fine, but give us another fifteen will you?'

Leon rolled his eyes, heading for the bathroom commenting on how it doesn't take Axel that long, while Cloud sighed and smiled. He couldn't really get in the way of blooming love now could he?

'Fifteen is all I give you!'

Axel saluted as Cloud left to go downstairs presumably to make breakfast. Roxas finally let out a groan as the realisation of singing in front of people was inevitable. His thoughts spiralled downwards. What if he didn't meet their expectations? His walk down the dark road began. He has never met the expectations of anyone. He could never make anyone happy or his parents proud. His mother… Roxas started to shake as the idea of disappointing his mother brought him to a crossroad, the person seen as a disappointment, failure and disgrace or the son ultimately responsible for his mother's death. All of his memories began flooding his mind, so much so he felt the force of them too. His father grabbing him, holding him tight, strangling him and kissing him… What? Roxas' eyes widened as he felt a huge tears fall straight down his pale cheeks to his chin and dipping ever so softly onto interlaced fingers. His eyes scanned the man in front of him, his bright red hair and slender, but defined frame. Moments later Roxas closed his eyes and leaned into the older boy's strong chest.

Axel had to do something. Roxas wasn't responding to his calls, or him hugging him, or him lightly shaking the boy to snap him out of it. He had just shuddered and slammed his fists to his forehead, gritted his teeth, growled and struggled when Axel had tried to hold him. It was all very frightening and something Axel was not accustomed to, nor was it something he felt anyone this age should be going through. In Axel's opinion it was reserved for 90 year olds with dementia, not thirteen year old high school students.

Axel eventually pulled back once he felt Roxas had calmed. He could taste the salty tears on his lips as he gently he pulled back to take in Roxas' reaction. Roxas still had his eyes closed and had a slight blush over his cheeks. Axel placed a hand either side of Roxas' face, his thumbs wiping away at the younger boys tears, removing the evidence. Roxas' opened his eyes and looked deep into Axel's, as though searching for something. It seemed as though he found it and Roxas smiled like he never had in years. Hearing rushed footsteps up the stairs Axel and Roxas' turned their heads toward the door to see a panicked Cloud.

'You two had better get up and get into Sora's room now, lest father find you two in bed together. I've covered Axel's sleeping arrangements by leaving a sheet and blanket on the floor of the living room. Quick… Now!' The two occupants of the room heard heavy footsteps before seeing Leon met Cloud in the hallway; they spoke quickly and lowly before sharing a chaste kiss with Leon headed to Sora's door and Cloud downstairs again.

Axel turned to Roxas to see his face pale and that haunted look return. He couldn't believe he had to go along with this, as though he didn't know about any of it. Worst of all he had to look Stuart in the face and flat out lie about last night and that kiss they had literally just shared. Picking Roxas up he got out of the bed and started chucking on his clothing from the day before, before going over to Roxas' closet and throwing a t-shirt and some plaid three-quarter shorts his way. Axel made for the door, it was probably better he didn't stand around any longer. Just as he went to close the door he saw a chain on the table next to the door. Picking it up he threw it on the bed next to Roxas and walked out closing the door gently. Walking up the hall he could hear the screaming match downstairs between Cloud and Stuart. Axel heard a few profanities come out from Stuart's mouth and the accusations from Cloud about Stuart's absence last night.

'What does it matter where I was Cloud? I am an adult and your FATHER I do not need to ask permission from my son to do anything. But apparently you had a few sluts around last night by the looks of it. I know your _"friend" _Leon doesn't stay on the floor in the lounge room, so who did? And don't try to lie to me because I know that shit box outside is his.'

Axel couldn't believe that this was the way their father spoke to them. Leon came up behind Axel and held his shoulder. Axel turned his head round to Leon with an angry, inquisitive look. Leon just shook his head, removing his hand and starting for the staircase.

'Leon you're going down there? Won't that make him worse?'

Leon smiled sadly, briefly looking at the floor before looking up into Axel's eyes with sincerity.

'That's what becoming a part of the family means. I need to be there for Cloud, and you need to make a decision.'

Axel watched on, brow furrowed, toward Leon's back as he descended the stairs.

* * *

So how did I go. Thanks for sticking with me! I swear I will finish writing this story even if it kills me!

anyway Love xoxo reviews are nice! it lets me know that what I am doing is right.


	10. The Musings And Actions Of A Hero

Welcome to a long awaited chapter 10! So sorry for the wait I wont even bore you with the details!

Do not own! except for stuart and lilly! 3

* * *

'It's scary huh?'

Axel jumped and turned upon hearing Roxas' voice behind him. A combination of confusion and shock covered Axel's face, the very expression seemingly etched in. He was flabbergasted, overwhelmed and every other verb and synonym to describe shock. He couldn't articulate any words; the environment they all lived in! And Leon was happy to become a part of it, showing his dedication to his lover by jumping into the argument to protect him! Axel faced Roxas now fully and all he could see was a white aura around the boy, he was still so innocent to him, too young to have to deal with all of this. Looking into Roxas' dead eyes, he noticed the boys eyes flick to him a light glimmer of hope still sat in there, perhaps he was all the boy needed.

_No. That sounds way to conceited. It can't just be me who evokes THAT look. His eyes look so depressed, so downtrodden, so… dead._

He tracked the young boy's movements as he turned and walked down the hall till he stopped at a closed door and knocked three times lightly. He felt himself moving slowly to the blond's side, seeing a brunette head pop out from behind the door, his bare chest exposed. Approaching the twins he caught the whispered conversation between them.

'Sora, you and Riku need to get dressed and get Denzel out of here! Dad's home and he's pissed, in more ways than one.'

Axel watched Sora's eyes go wide as he stuck his head out the door and listened to the screaming match drifting up the stairs. Turning back to his twin Sora's eyes showed determination.

'Roxas… He's not getting you today! That's not fair!'

Roxas shook his head at Sora.

'If I don't it'll get worse, Sora you of all people know that! That is what's not fair! You can't do that to me!'

Axel watched Sora's heart break, and it appeared to be visible to all around, even Riku who had come to the door upon hearing the downstairs match through the crack in the door.

'YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T LIFT A FINGER TO ME!'

'OH REALLY? WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT CLOUD, SHALL WE?'

Axel and the others heard a loud crack from downstairs. Roxas, Sora and Riku bolted faster than Axel had seen anyone run before in his life. Turning on his heel he followed after the three boys halting at the top of the staircase behind the twins. He got there in time to see Riku jump to the bottom of the stairs in one jump, which would usually break an ankle, guessing all those years learning parkour paid off for him. Hearing a snicker they all turned their attention to Stuart.

'Oh look it's the white knight! Everything is saved now that you are here! Get fucked kid!'

'No.'

Riku's tone was dangerous; a danger that apparently went by the way side for Stuart.

Axel looked behind Riku to see Leon kneeling down holding his left arm, Cloud by his side eyes full of worry. He assumed that the blow that landed on Leon was intended for Cloud and by the looks of his arm it was fractured. Stuart's voice caught Axel's attention once again, his eyebrows furrowing.

'Oh you think I wouldn't bring my own friends? I will tell you again, Leon, Riku, get FUCKED!'

Both boys stood their ground staring down the man in front of them. Stuart let a single laugh escape his lips before pulling out his phone and pressing a button. A minute later and three men walked through the door standing next to Stuart and all equally looking dangerous. Axel lightly parted the two twins and descended the stairs standing by Riku, who was still glaring daggers at the four men.

'Hey now let's at least make this a fair fight. So what does the town judge, police chief, the hospital director and a mental health doctor got in common that would allow them to back each other up?'

'Axel!'

Cloud's eyes widened as he looked to Leon for answers. Leon looked from Cloud to Axel and smirked before turning his attention back to the men before him. Cloud whipped his head briefly to the top of the stairs, noting Sora holding Denzel and hushing him, before looking at his father who seemed to be processing information. Stuart clicked his fingers before pointing at Axel.

'Ah, Axel Flamehart! I thought I knew your face. You have been here before. Met my lovely wife Lilly? You will see her again soon for I believe there's a hit out on you! Bringing you in will make us very wealthy. Had some interesting escapades in Radiant Garden involving their princess? Where is she right now? Six feet under in the far stretches of Deep Space?'

Axel huffed out a laugh.

'It appears you have been fed misinformation. But I don't need to explain myself to someone like you, who would exploit her to get your own way.'

Axel walked over to the dining table, picking up Leon's keys and jingling them in his hands, flicking his green orbs to Cloud. A fire had started in his soul, a fire that burned bright. He was going to get these children out of the situation they were in. Throwing the keys to Leon he winked and lightly tilted his head upstairs to Cloud. Walking over to Leon he made sure the men were watching him, before he venomously spat out his feigned defeat.

'Leon, Riku, I can tell when I am not wanted around. Let's go.'

He turned and walked over to and out the front door with very deliberate steps. Leon followed right after Axel, turning only to call Riku along, who glared his last icy daggers in the direction of the men before walking out the door slamming it behind him. All four men present in the room watched the three boys leave before turning back to where the young men once stood. Stuart looked up the stairs and snarled.

'That Fucker distracted us! My sons are gone! Quick get out there and follow them!'

* * *

Hopefully the next chapter will b up sooner... like I have said before I will finish this story even if it kills me! xoxo


	11. How It Feels To Succumb

Well here you go chapter 11. I hope it lives up to standard! xoxo

* * *

It was well after ten and the sky was pitch black. Roxas sat in the window seat, back against the glass and looked out of the window up at the stars, twinkling without a care in the world. Roxas was back at Leon's for the time being while he waited for Cloud to finish work. Leon had been taken to the hospital earlier by Axel and was now resting in a recliner watching 'Gator boys'. Roxas wasn't really so sure he was actually watching it versus worrying about Cloud. Axel was currently showering and had been for the past twenty or so minutes, not that he was counting. Roxas wondered about Sora, Denzel and Riku and where they had ended up. Cloud wouldn't tell him before he went to work, so he resolved to ask him afterwards. He thought back to earlier that day when the others were arguing with his father.

_Roxas ran after and watched as Riku descended the stairs in one jump, he himself stopping at the top of the stairs next to his twin. He was vaguely aware of Axel's presence behind him but his heart was reaching out for Cloud._

'_Oh look it's the white knight! Everything is saved now that you are here! Get fucked kid!'_

'_No.'_

_Roxas looked at Sora, who had closed his eyes and looked away. He closed his eyes and looked away too. He knew why Sora couldn't bear to look. He was just like their mom too. Kind-hearted, someone who couldn't bear to see the ones he loved get hurt or even put down._

_He heard his father's condescending tone vibrate though the air._

'_Oh you think I wouldn't bring my own friends? I will tell you again, Leon, Riku, get FUCKED!'_

_Roxas looked once again to his right when he felt his brother run off down the hall, seeing him push Denzel back into his room and close the door. A moment later Roxas heard two doors opening, knowing one was his twin bringing Denzel he focused his attention on the second door, keeping his eyes trained on his father, his eyes widening with each step the three new men took. He could have cried and ran then when he felt Axel part the two boys and descend the stairs. His fear took on a new subject, the safety of Axel._

'_Hey now let's at least make this a fair fight. So what does the town judge, police chief, the hospital director and a mental health doctor got in common that would allow them to back each other up?'_

_Roxas stood in a fearful stunned silence. Did Axel not understand what he just walked into or was he too cocky to care? He only just hoped for the latter, but only just. Roxas knew the answer to Axel's question and it pained him to think of how each man down stairs with his father had violated him. Roxas heard a light whimper before hearing Sora whispering and hushing him._

'_Denzel I need you to be quiet remember? We won't let any of them go near you. We all need you to listen to us soon okay?'_

_Denzel nodded and tucked his head into Sora's shoulder. Roxas turned back when he heard his father click. He stood in stunned silence as he heard the accusations coming out of Stuart's mouth._

'_Ah, Axel Flamehart! I thought I knew your face. You have been here before. Met my lovely wife Lilly? You will see her again soon for I believe there's a hit out on you! Bringing you in will make us very wealthy. Had some interesting escapades in Radiant Garden involving their princess? Where is she right now? Six feet under in the far stretches of Deep Space?'_

_Roxas' eyes widened. No way was Axel a murderer. There was no way he could be; Axel didn't seem like that kind of guy. Although how well did he really know him? And where had he been for all those years? Roxas came back to when he heard Axel laugh, a laugh that kind of shook him with his previous thoughts._

'_It appears you have been fed misinformation. But I don't need to explain myself to someone like you, who would exploit her to get your own way.'_

_Roxas sighed in relief at Axel's answer. He watched as Axel walked over to the dining table grabbing the keys and throwing them to Leon, and nodded up at them. Roxas grabbed Sora's arm and whispered to both Sora and Denzel to go with them._

'_You guys have to go when they go and Denzel you need to stay quiet, okay?'_

'_Oka…'_

_Sora frowned and scolded Roxas quietly._

'_No! I told you he's not getting you today! I mean that. You're coming!'_

_Cloud appeared at the bottom of the stairs and beckoned the boys mouthing 'now'. Roxas took a deep breath and quietly descended the stairs, Sora close in tow. Quietly the boys made it to the door and opened it slipping out and waiting by Leon's car. Axel was the first to come out, followed closely by Leon who chucked the keys to Cloud allowing him to open the doors and getting the boys to pile in. Sora and Roxas squeezed in along with Axel and Riku, who appeared outside in all the confusion, in the back and who Denzel laid across the boy's laps. Leon had made his way into the passenger seat and Cloud started the engine, flying out of the drive way and down the street._

_Roxas remembered being the first dropped off. Leon and Axel got out of the car and headed into the house, which Roxas recognised as Leon's. Axel dug into his pockets pulling out a set of keys and opening the door, he opened the door wide for Roxas and Leon to get through and kept an eye out for anyone who may be scouting._

_It wasn't long after this that Axel grabbed his keys and took Leon down to the hospital. Roxas went to the bathroom and unwrapped his dressings and stepped into the tepid water, hissing as the water hit each laceration, the water turning crimson from the fresh blood dripping from the opened wound. A few tears slipped down his cheeks then combining with the water from the shower. He fell to the floor and sat there for a good ten minutes before getting up and shutting off the water. Stepping out Roxas found Leon's oldest looking towel and slowly dabbed at his body to dry it off. When he was near done he heard the front door open._

_Roxas felt his body shaking as he tried to regulate his breathing. He moved behind the door to the bathroom and waited. It was then he heard Cloud call out to the near empty house and he sighed in relief._

'_I'm in here Cloud!'_

_Roxas did the best he could to wrap the towel around his waist and opened the door. Cloud stepped into the bathroom and looked at his brother._

'_You need new bandages.'_

_Roxas looked down at the ground solemnly._

'_Yeah.'_

'_Come to the kitchen then. Leon keeps his bandages there.'_

_Roxas followed Cloud out into the kitchen and sat up on the bench while Cloud bandaged his wounds._

'_Cloud?'_

'_Hmm?'_

'_Where did you take Sora, Denzel and Riku?'_

_Cloud sighed as he finished up Roxas' legs._

'_Somewhere safe Rox. Now I still need to get to work this arvo so please stay here. Axel and Leon will protect you. I'll come back tonight and then we will decide what we will do.'_

Roxas was brought out of his musings with the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Moving away from the window Roxas moved closer to the couch as Axel, who had apparently heard the noise too, came out of his bedroom in a pair of track pants and an unzipped, fur lined jacket. He watched as the older boy stepped in between him and the door, looking ready to lunge if need be. Roxas shook as he saw the silhouette of two men walking up to the door. Roxas walked over to Axel, standing behind him and grabbing his left arm.

The door creaked open as Stuart and Xaldin, the Police chief, crossed its threshold. Stuart held one hand behind his back and Roxas knew that was not a good sign.

'I do believe it is time for my son to come home Axel.'

'Not in thi-'

Roxas tugged on Axel's arm, causing him to stop mid sentence and look at the teen. Roxas just widened his eyes, tightened his lips and shook his head.

'Picture this. You can have a week head start. As long as you stay out of my town, I don't care what you get up to… just hand over Roxas Larkey.'

Roxas' face turned angry and he snapped for the first time, in a long time, in front of his father.

'That's not my legal name Xaldin! My name is Roxas Strife!'

Stuart cackled.

'Fine bear the slut's name I don't care! Roxas all you have done today will be forgiven, if you come with me right now.'

Roxas watched as he slowly began to draw his arm out; terrified, he stepped forward toward his father.

'Oh such a loyal son. Come along, you have school in the morning and you need to sleep.'

'Roxas no! Step away from him!'

Leon demanded, now awake from his drug induced sleep. Roxas knew what Cloud had said to him about the two older boys keeping him safe, but this was the best course of action. He was keeping everyone in the situation safe. And besides his father was going to forgive him wasn't he?

'Sorry Leon. I can't I have to go with dad. You guys understand right?'

Stepping behind his father and closer to the door he glanced quickly at his father's back, his fears becoming reality as he caught sight of his father's gun. Making a hand gesture of a gun to Leon and Axel, he turned on his heel and headed for the front door and to his father's car. Stuart followed close behind and then Xaldin, waiting for the two to get out of the front door before following. Roxas not expecting his father to be so close turned and immediately received a backhand to his slit cheek. The tears welled in his eyes before looking his father in the eye as he berated him.

'Roxas, how DARE you go with them?! They will corrupt you and teach you to defy your father! I'll have you know that each one of your brothers will receive this same punishment as they come home! Get in the car NOW!'

Roxas did just that, fearing what may lie ahead when he got home. Tears slipping from his eyes as he saw headlights turn up the streets entrance as his father drove him home.

* * *

Don't worry Axel's not going anywhere! =] xoxo till next chapter!


	12. How It Feels To Be Used

Hey guys... sorry it has taken so long! You know uni and work... =/ ANYWAY! I want to warn you now... this is a graphic chapter including the following; Rape, Incest, violence and a Threesome. It's not long... considering it's 2 am =[ but I felt I needed to add a scene like this since the last one was a very cloudy first chapter. So enjoy, or wait for the next chapter if any of the themes mentioned above disturb you.

* * *

Roxas groaned and tried to sit up. It was only when his arms wouldn't move and his wrists burned that he realised they were tied to his father's bed head. Hissing Roxas immediately stopped moving his hands and arms to attempt to relieve some of the pain. He felt a lump rise in his throat as he choked back a gut wrenching sob. It had been days now and his father was infuriated. None of Stuart's other sons had come home, although they knew where Cloud resided. Roxas felt a shift of weight on the bed and looked to his right to see his father cleaning his hand gun.

'You know Roxas… I should have just shot your brother when I got the chance. And those two halfwits that tried to hide you. My precious toy…'

Stuart had put the gun down the night stand and was now running his hands up and down Roxas' sides. The blonde whimpered and turned his head into his left arm, eventually looking up at his bonds and pulling on them. Stuart looked up at the bonds and grinned.

'Not yet sweetheart. I need to prep you.'

Roxas noted the sickly sweetness in Stuart's voice. He felt nauseous his head spinning from the displeasure he felt. Obediently Roxas opened his mouth when his father presented three fingers for sucking. Not that saliva ever worked well, but Roxas knew it was better than nothing at all. Eventually Stuart removed his fingers with a moan and straddled Roxas' chest. Leaning back he placed his wet fingers at Roxas' entrance.

'Damn baby you're getting so good at that. Now work for me!'

Roxas hiccupped and choked back another sob. Pushing down on his father's fingers he began building a rhythm. At the same time Stuart presented his cock to Roxas' mouth ordering him to suck. When the boy lifted his head to wrap his lips around the head, the elder grabbed the back of his head and thrust in burying his cock in the depths of Roxas' throat causing the boy to gag and bring up bile.

'Ahhh ye-es-s! That's right gag around me baby.'

Roxas eventually felt relief, if only for a moment, when the man above him removed his fingers from his entrance. Almost immediately he produced a blood curdling gargle when he felt himself being filled by another cock. Another moan filled the room and soon after Vexen's face appeared over Stuart's shoulder looking down at Roxas. Vexen smiled as he watched the young boy tear up, a few spilling out despite the boy's efforts to keep them at bay.

'Now now Roxas, it's okay I'm not even half as thick as Xaldin! Don't cry, it doesn't even hurt I bet!'

Roxas looked at Vexen in utter disbelief before quickly shutting his eyes in pain, his tears freely flowing. He gasped for air as his father pulled out of his mouth and hopped off his chest. Looking to the side Roxas watched in fear as his father walked over to his closet and pulled out some instruments he could barely see. As his father walked up he got a better glimpse and whined as his father attached the chained clamps on his nipples. Roxas felt the elder mans hands all over his dick and watched as he placed a tight cock ring on the now engorged penis. Roxas turned his head toward the bedroom door almost pleading for someone to come swooping in to rescue him when he caught a glimpse of chestnut brown spikes and a horrified face. The blond's eyes widened when he saw his twin and immediately he turned away disgraced and ashamed that his twin had finally seen the unlawful acts made against him. He heard light footsteps run toward Sora's room and he couldn't help but cry more.

'Alright Vex, thank you for your time, but now it's my turn.'

Roxas felt the bonds on his wrists above his head release and Vexen pull out. Roxas barely had time to sit up before his body was picked up and placed down on Stuart's dick. He felt his arms get ripped back behind him, forcing him forward and downwards into Vexen's awaiting member. Roxas was forced to deep throat again as he felt his father spread his legs, holding them open with his own knees and lower legs. The blond boy cried out as he felt two fists grab his hair and force him further down on the cock in front of him. Not long after he felt the bitter taste of cum in his mouth and the sting of a harsh slap to his face.

'Swallow slut! I will not have a repeat of last time!'

Roxas felt the blood rush to his cheek as he forced himself to swallow around the lump still in his throat. Hearing the moan behind him and feeling his father withdraw, Roxas turned his head as much as he could to witness the man's climax over his back. Panting slightly Vexen moved forward and grabbed the two clamps yanking on them. Roxas cried out in pain and surprise as he also felt his father shove his arms, effectively pushing the boy to the floor. Roxas' head connected and all he saw was black.

* * *

Thanks for reading guys! Hopefully next chapter I can build on a broken Roxas, the Rokuaku relationship and maybe even Roxas' schooling life.


	13. Where is home if not here?

Hey guys! Finally I may be able to get back on track with my story! I have one more uni assessment them three exams then I'm free! until my distance Christmas Break session starts up :/Anyway on with the story! This chapter contains violence and adult themes and hints at malexmale sex. If you don't like it don't read it simple.

**For those who may have skipped last chapter to avoid the graphic nature here is a** **summary**

Roxas is raped by Vexen and Stuart

Sora is now home and witnesses part of it!

Roxas is violently knocked out, hitting his head on a wall.

Okay so on with the Story!

**Edit 01/10/2013 (I'm Aussie leave me alone =P) **So I noticed a few typos lol! So I fixed those and elaborated a little in one sentence.

* * *

Sora connected with the floor. He didn't expect that his father would have seen him try to retrieve Roxas from the bedroom nor that his father would have hit him at all! Tears welled in his eyes, he should have known better, but he thought his father had gone outside to the car to leave for the pub! Clearly not. His eyes sailed back up to his father as he glared down at the boy. Sora closed his eyes as he saw his father bend down and felt his t-shirt tighten as his father dragged him up from the floor by fisting his shirt. Sora felt spittle hit his face as his father began his rage filled rant.

"You little bastard! You think you can get away with running from home for a few days? Did you leave to FUCK that prick Riku? He is a bad influence on you! You and your brothers will all suffer the same fate for that mistake. Be aware that the next time you pull a stunt like that I will shoot you."

Sora felt his father pull him away from him slightly and built the courage up to open his eyes. He was still eye level with his father, his feet dangling from the ground. He watched his father's gaze run over his body and back to his face before feeling the huff of air from his father's short laugh.

"You're not even attractive, I don't know what that boy sees in you."

Sora felt tears fall from the corners of his eyes and roll down his cheeks before the feeling of a weightless force followed by a hard thud, then black.

* * *

Denzel raced up the stairs as soon as he got through the threshold of the house. He heard Cloud run after him, ascending the stairs by what he could guess was two at a time, but it was too late. Denzel had made his way up stairs and let out a high pitched scream as he saw his father throw Sora against the hall wall.

"Sora!"

Stuart looked up from Sora's unconscious body at his youngest son. He approached the boy quickly and backhanded him across the cheek, effectively silencing the boy from sheer shock. However, just as quickly, his silence was overtaken by wails as Denzel felt the sting of the slap, physically and emotionally. Cloud had reached the top of the stairs to see his father leering over the young boy.

"No!"

Denzel heard Cloud cry out to his father, before he saw a glimpse of blond coming out of the bathroom, cutting off his vision of Cloud. He watched as Vexen crouched and threw his weight forward to knock Cloud back. Cloud's face showed shock before he went sailing over the edge of the stairs.

"Cloud!"

The young boy squealed. He felt the gaze of his father and the creepy blond Vexen, before his father grabbed his arm, racing him up the hall and throwing him into the darkness of his own bedroom. He heard the door slam shut and something being jammed under the door handle before two sets of footsteps faded away. The last thing Denzel heard before bursting into tears was his father yelling out and the front door slamming shut.

"This is your punishment boys."

* * *

Axel hadn't heard from Roxas for about a week now and it had been at least 48 hours since he and Leon had spoken to Cloud. They were both getting nervous he could feel it in the air. Pacing back and forth, Axel growled in frustration before grabbing his keys and Leon's hand. He knew he didn't need to explain to Leon, the man understood. It was a quiet car ride, until Leon piped up in all his wisdom.

"What if Stuart is there Axel?"

Axel grunted.

"He's not. I feel it."

Leon huffed.

"Gut feeling, eh?"

Axel affirmed the notion with a slight nod, his lips pursed. He didn't know how but he just felt that Stuart wasn't in town at all, let alone at his house.

Arriving in the street housing the four boys, Axel slowed himself down and parked a few houses down, before scoping out the house from a distance with Leon.

"Oh dude I think you are right. Stuart isn't there."

Axel nodded getting out of the car, waiting for Leon to do the same before locking the car and walking gingerly up to the house. Axel listened hard, attempting to still his erratic heartbeat but hearing nothing. Quietly Leon opened the front door using his secret key Cloud had given him. It was eerily silent and damn well dark! Leon flipped on the main light and gasped, swallowing a big lump when he saw Cloud lying unconsciously on the ground at the base of the stairs, his body contorted. Leon ran over hovering his hands over Cloud, afraid to touch him for fear of harming him further. Axel stared at the stairs afraid of what he would find beyond them. It was only then he heard a faint cry and thumping upstairs. He watched as Leon quickly checked for Cloud's breathing, breathing a sigh of relief and confirming with Axel, before he and Leon ascended the stairs.

Leon and Axel stayed quiet as they attempted to get around in the dark. Axel felt something under his foot and tapped Leon to alert him. He felt Leon searching around furiously before finding the hallway switch and clicking it on. Both boys gasped as they saw the light-hearted brunette on the floor unconscious. They watched his chest and awaited the rise and fall, sighing in relief when it came. The thumping was louder now and Axel was sure Leon could determine the origin of the sound. The cries were more audible now and slightly distinguishable. Axel felt the rage rise up in his chest as he saw what was impeding the exit to the room he determined held either Roxas or Denzel. He raced forward and snatched the chair from under the handle throwing the door open to reveal a very upset Denzel.

"LEON!"

The boy cried before racing forward and slamming his body into the older man. Leon crouched down and cuddled the boy, cradling him in his arms, to let him know that it was going to be okay. Axel still was not satisfied. They had not found Roxas. He turned to the room in-between Denzel's and the bathroom. That room had a faint glow from under the door something that didn't quite sit right with him. Roxas was in there he was sure.

Walking up to the door he clicked open the door noting the lamp next to a reading chair as the source of the scarce light. He looked around almost defeated when he couldn't see anything. Turning to leave his eye caught a glimpse of a few golden blond tufts of hair. Axel raced around the bed and gasped at the sight of Roxas. His head had a gaping wound and he was covered in blood and semen. Roxas' body was very skinny and all scared up from the bathroom incident he had heard about. His nipples were purple and bruised and his wrists were red raw.

He crouched down and ran his fingers through the blond's locks before checking his neck for a pulse and his mouth and nose for any breathing. He sighed in relief when he felt Roxas' pulse and light breathing but felt the fury rise in his chest when he thought about Stuart doing this to all of his sons.

What exactly happened here? And where on Earth was Stuart?

* * *

As usual read and review pleasles and thankles! :) I hope u enjoyed the chapter, or it made you angry one or the other XOXO


	14. A Moments Reprieve

Hey all I'm back.. exam tomorrow and need my sleep but I have been dying to get this too you. So enjoy! lots of love!

* * *

His felt like he was constantly spinning, occasionally catching snippets of conversation occurring around him. He felt dizzy, he felt nauseous and his limbs ached. His left arm was searing in pain, he couldn't move.

"We've gotta get that back in place, please can you take a look at it?"

"Not until I get an explanation! What happened here? Why can't we take him to the hospital?"

"Aerith please! I can't explain right now, we just need to get him patched up and then conscious."

The haze was lifting, however, he still felt like he was spinning and his arm, God, his arm was causing him agony. He groaned in frustration, what was going on? Why was he so dizzy? And why did everything hurt?! He instantly felt heat around him and a hand holding his.

"Steady Cloud. We need you to stay still. Aerith is going to help pop your shoulder into place, it's been out for far too long!"

Cloud groaned again, swiftly expelling air in a hiss when he felt soft hands touch his arm and shoulder. A hand grasped the hand of his right arm and there was another hand laid against his forehead.

Cloud yelled in agony as his shoulder was pushed and pulled back into place, tears welling in the corner of his eyes, some spilling down his temples.

"Aerith is he alright to move?"

He felt a hand grab a hold of his left elbow, his left hand and then gently touch his left shoulder. Aerith ignored the question, checking with Cloud at each point whether he could feel her touch.

"Ok Cloud I need you to start moving some limbs for me. I don't want you to move everything at once. I don't want you to sit up. I just need you to follow my instruction so I can determine everything is alright. Can you do that for me?"

Cloud nodded slightly before groaning. His whole body still felt like it was falling, spinning and the like.

"Okay Cloud, now just move your left hand for me. Now can you move your right hand."

This continued until all of Cloud's limbs had been checked. Cloud opened his eyes and took as much of the scene around him before closing his eyes again. He moved his right hand to his head groaning in the process.

"Cloud are you okay?"

He heard Aerith's soft melodic voice ask. He groaned again before flopping his hand down to the side of his body once again.

"I'm pretty dizzy. The room won't stop moving."

Aerith hummed before instructing Axel to get a pillow and a blanket from Cloud's bedroom.

"You've hit your head pretty hard Cloud and dislocated your shoulder. I'm surprised you didn't wake up. If you had you must have been in enough pain to pass out again. The boys tell me it had been about a day and a bit since they'd heard from you. They got worried. What happened?"

Cloud frowned at the information. He attempted to sit up, his head swimming but he didn't care.

"Where is Denzel and Sora? Is Roxas here? Are they okay?"

Cloud looked into Aerith's wide eyes, ignoring her pleas to lay back down. He turned slightly to attempt to stand up when he felt warm hands hold his shoulder and leg. He turned, his eyes taking time to focus, before seeing Leon. His eyes welled with tears before laying back down. Leon's face said it all. He had failed to protect his brothers. They had all gotten hurt because of him. Cloud's head was spinning out of control now, his vision blurred, tears streamed down his face his head became a conglomeration of guilt, confusion, dizziness and nausea.

"Cloud it's okay. The boy's are alive. Aerith is going up to check on them once she's done with you."

Axel came back down with a blanket, Denzel in tow with a pillow.

"Cloud."

Cloud looked up at Denzel, the guilt rising in his throat in the form of bile. There was a bruise on his cheek and his eyes had lost their glimmer. He watched the boy as he approached, hearing him sniffling back a few times before holding his head up to place the pillow beneath. Cloud lifted his arms for Denzel to hug him. Denzel lay down in Cloud's arms and snuggled into his chest. Axel laid the blanket over the two smiling down at them sadly.

Cloud kissed the top of Denzel's head, apologising profusely for what happened to Denzel. He felt Denzel burrow his face into Cloud's chest as the boy's shoulders heaved up and down in loud sobs. Cloud felt Leon at his side, the young man patting the young boy on his upper back, the light claps reverberating through to his lower chest. Cloud was grateful to have such a loving partner and friend as he knew he would never be able to deal with this situation on his own. He cuddled Denzel closer as he imagined different ways he could get the boys out of their father's care.

* * *

Axel and Aerith looked down at the scene before them with sad eyes and heavy hearts. This was a horrific situation for the brothers to be in and Axel knew to get out of it wouldn't be easy. He turned to Aerith motioning to the stairs and headed toward them. He felt Aerith at his heels, so he didn't bother to turn around. He wanted to know how the other two were, more so Roxas. Axel and Leon had attempted to call Riku earlier but there was no answer. They left a message for him to call them back and they were expecting his call any minute.

Reaching the top of the stairs Axel heard a phone ringing. The sound came from Cloud's room, where Axel and Leon had taken the two twins to lay comfortably, not that either of them had awoken yet. He and the brunette behind him rushed to the room to survey the boys and answer the phone. Arriving Axel noted the sound was coming from Sora's pocket and the boy seemed to be stirring. Quickly grabbing the phone, he ignored Aerith's gasp as she laid eyes on presumably Roxas, and answered it, leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

'Hello?'

'Axel? What are you doing with Sora's phone?'

'Riku! Thank God! Where are you? We need you here now!'

Axel heard the steam coming from Riku's ears and could only deduce that Riku had figured out something had gone wrong.

'What has that son of a bitch done? I swear I will fucking kill him if he has hurt Sora! Where are you guys? You at Sora's?'

Axel sighed.

'Trust me Riku I do too. Yes we are, now get here as soon as you can!'

With that Axel hung up. He stepped back into the room to see Aerith over the top of Roxas surveying the head wound. Sora sat up against the headboard, his eyes distant as they lay upon Roxas' face. Axel felt the guilt rise up in his throat. They should have known better than to leave Cloud to it. All the boys had been hurt because of his and Leon's intervention.

'Axel…'

Aerith started with a shaky breath. Axel turned to Aerith to see her eyes brimming with tears.

'What happened here, to this young boy? He's lost so much blood. I can't help him. He needs to go to a hospital.'

Axel rubbed the back of his head furiously. He barely knew what was going on either! He knew the boy needed a hospital, but he would back it in that those men he met last week were working in tandem and that Roxas would come out the other side with no mental help or stability. The doctor's could help him physiologically but not psychologically. Axel growled in frustration. Looking at the two boys he saw Sora move to his twin's face and cup it.

'Roxas…'

Axel sighed. Either way, Roxas had his siblings and himself and Leon there to help. They would get him through this! He stepped forward and picked up Roxas' limp body before heading towards the bedroom door. He felt Aerith at his side opening the door for him and allowing him to step out before closing the door to check Sora. He walked down the hallway, determination etched across his face. As he descended the stairs he motioned for Leon to follow with Cloud. God be damned if he wasn't getting Cloud's arm checked out too! He heard the front door open and watched the silverette walk through it threshold before looking up at Axel heading his way. Holding the door open for the redhead he heard the boy gasp at Roxas and flick his head in the direction of Cloud as Leon was helping off the floor.

Axel fished out his keys as he walked up to the car, opening it and laying Roxas along the back seat. The boy started stirring and moaning as he held the door open for Cloud to get in, watching as the two boys lifted Roxas' head and laid it back on Cloud's lap as he settled into the back seat. Leon and Axel took their respective seat in the front before heading off to the hospital.

Axel checked his rear vision mirror near constantly watching as the teen finally awoke, tears streaming down his face at the sight of Cloud. He watched as Cloud bent down and kissed the boy's forehead, away from the wound, and whispered words of comfort as the boy began sobbing and holding his head.

* * *

Riku looked at Sora concerned. His love seemed too distant, seemingly zombified. What had happened to make his cheery demeanour vanish and leave this empty shell of a teen. He sat down in front of the boy and bowed his head to look under the brunette spikes.

'Sora, babe, what happened?'

Riku watched as Sora's eyes rose to meet his sea coloured ones. His heart ached as he saw the emptiness, void of any emotions indicative to what had transpired. He watched as Sora's hand raised and clasped at his own face, his other hand grabbing his shirt over his heart. As if reliving the night Sora quoted his father.

'You little bastard! You think you can get away with running from home for a few days? Did you leave to FUCK that prick Riku?... You're not even attractive, I don't know what that boy sees in you.'

Sora's eyes welled with tears as he continued.

'You and your brothers will all suffer the same fate for that mistake. Be aware that the next time you pull a stunt like that I will shoot you.'

Riku heard Aerith gasp and cover her mouth. His eyes averted to her before quickly focusing on Sora again. He grabbed a hold of both of Sora's hands and cradled them to him, over his heart and cupping his face. His features turned soft as he kissed both of Sora's hands and wrists.

'Sora, my beautiful baby, please do not believe a word you father says. He's manipulating you and coercing you into submission. I haven't a doubt that he would shoot any of us, but we need to start fighting back. I saw what happened to Roxas we can't let that happen again. Do you understand me Sora?'

The boy lightly nodded the tears streaming down his face as his eyes connected once again with sea green.

'Do you believe me Sora?'

Sora hesitated. Riku knew he would. His father was starting to creep his way into his son's minds manipulating them, deconstructing them. It would take the combined effort of Riku, Axel and Leon to even attempt to free the boys. He watched as Sora slowly nodded, a little light beginning to shine again in his eyes.

'But Roxas, they…'

Riku looked at Aerith. She motioned that she would speak not a word and silently sat down in front of Sora on the corner of the bed. Sora looked between the two before continuing.

'They both, had…'

Riku waited patiently as Sora gulped.

'They both had their w-way with h-him. T-t-orchered-d him!'

Riku's eyes went wide. His face became red.

'Sora, did you witness it?'

Sora shied away from his explosive boyfriend. Tears streamed down his cheeks again before he hid his face in shame.

Riku sighed and punched the mattress in frustration. If only his father hadn't insisted that Sora went home! He and his mother had protested, but his father remained true in his decision. If only he knew of the damage it had cost. Denzel walked into the room quietly and jumped up on the bed and cuddled into Riku looking woefully at Sora.

'Riku, I wanna go see mommy, and then Roxas.'

Riku nodded. All the boys were broken, but they needed to band together now more than ever if they were to have a chance at surviving.

* * *

How did u like it guys? Hopefully we will see a few happier chapters from here, investigate some of Roxas' singing, although I won't tell why! ;)

Love to all and R&R thanks guys


End file.
